thoughts and stories

Day 30

Hangnails. Holy annoying fuck. They have always been my weakness and I can never let go of one until my nail bed turns into a bloody ruin. But it’s never really been about the hangnail itself though. When I get into a mental vortex, I start to feel my skin catching on things. Suddenly myContinue reading “Day 30”


Day 29

I have ghosted. Ghosting is something that I do. I ghost. To be quite clear, I have been ghosted before as well. I know what it feels like. I know what it’s like to feel the pull of trying to get closure, to attempt to understand if the other person “actually cared” about what weContinue reading “Day 29”

Day 28

Sunny Wednesday coffee in front of the fountains in the gardens of the Palais Royal.  After having taken a break for a few days because of immense fatigue, here I am again. Typing, just typing, because I can.  I have not known fatigue like this in a long time. A fatigue that takes me andContinue reading “Day 28”

Day 20

During dinner this evening, Little told me about something that happened at school: Little: Hey, you know there was a bunch of guys who tried to pick a fight with me the other day and they won’t back off, so I told my friend to punish them for me but she didn’t. [bottom lip startsContinue reading “Day 20”

Day 19

Fall, or autumn, whichever you choose to call it, is upon us. What plans do you have for this year’s? It seems to be unlike any other what with the US elections right round the corner, Corona unleashing hell, everyone staying at home more, etc. My fall this year looks like tons of knitting, forContinue reading “Day 19”

Day 18

Yesterday I went through one of the greyest and darkest moments in my recent memory. It was so bad that I was actually proud of myself for having posted anything at all. I felt like I lost my fight to win Big before the fight even started. I felt everything was pointless in raising myContinue reading “Day 18”

Day 17

A letter to my stepchild Big,  Today you had a conversation with your father about bringing up Little and your role in her education and I am not sure if you realise that I had overheard the entire thing, or if you did, whether you cared or not. The thing is that I did andContinue reading “Day 17”


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